I really liked these old shows that say "Journey through your body" or "Deep into the human body". They go into a small submarine then it shrinks in size into a tiny submarine then goes into someone's body through his mouth then goes through the digestive system all the way till the excretion process then they come out, explaining everything they pass by, telling you the names and all. OR something goes wrong (and we always know things must go wrong). They end up being fought by immune system or free rooming exploring the rest of the body. These trips were endless and filled with tons of information. We can talk about them til forever yet that's not my area of expertise. It's just that I really like the ideas too much and I'd like to mimic it in another way. Why don't you listen then decided if you want to take this trip too?
We Won't dive deep into a materialistic place (even though I'd like to go in personally and ask my stomach what 'her' problem is. It's acting like a girl that has no problem yet has a very bad mood swing. She is not feeling good but she is 'fine'. Yet wherever she is upset, it's up to me to figure out the problem.) Putting that aside. We will dive deep into some built up things. Down through the memory lane and tons of dirt and forgotten memories. Some might think that's scavenge hunting, yet I won't exactly calling it that.
let's start with a back story before "digging deep".
Why do we do what we do? I mean why do we behave in a certain way, why do we have our belief, why do we believe what we believe. Why was that our reaction to a certain situation? Why are we insecure? Why do we have anger issue? (My next question isn't why do we exist,,, no).
To answer the belief question (and I'm not talking about religious beliefs only here, I'm talking about everything we believe in) Is that this is how we were taught? Was that what our parents believed? Or was it how our family saw it? Is this how our society thinks? (If you want to dive deeper into this point I'd recommend reading "The four agreements" book.)
To answer why we react that certain way or why were we angry in a certain situation where it wasn't necessary or why are we insecure? I'm sorry to tell you that your reaction or feeling wasn't only and purely based on your situation. There are multiple dimensions to your feeling.
Let's have a simple example to make this point clearer. Let's assume that someone said something to you and you got so angry at him, raging with anger and throwing flames out of your mouth then both of you went separate ways. After that you felt that you have over reacted just a little bit yet he still was in wrong. What you'll do after that is that you'll go on with your day but you'll put in mind to tune down your overreaction. That's it, problem solved.
That's fine, nothing wrong with this this solution yet why don't we have a different approach. Let's try the following.
-Why did you get angry in the first place?
=Because he said something that made me angry
-Was it really that bad of the thing that it deserved your reaction?
=Not really, that's why I said I overreacted.
-What was the reason of your overreaction then?
=I told you, he said something that annoyed me so much.
-Yes, yet you overreacted. That means this reaction wasn't purely because of that situation. Did something happen this morning that made you upset.
=NO!
-Something happened before today maybe? Your anger might have been building up to the point til it exploded on something that didn't deserve it. Or was it that you were anticipating a totally different reaction and you put so much hope into it?
=Maybe one of them or maybe both.
-OK, we shall proceed to the my next set of questions. Why did you find his comment/ response offensive? (Assuming that the response wasn't that big of a deal. One of these controversial subjects that not everyone finds offensive.)
=Because it's offensive, can't you see that?
-It's not about me, it's about you. Why do you find it offensive? Do you say that to other people? When did you find it offensive for the first time? Was it a trauma or was it a near person influence?
I don't have an answer because I don't exactly have an actual problem in hand, so we will stop here.
Simply just ask and answer and ask again and answer then dig deeper and deeper.
In the first scenario we just tend to deal with the after math but in the second scenario we dig deep to find the root of the problem and try to solve it. I'm not saying it'll be easy but it'll be more effective.
This script is just an example but you can use the same method to approach any problem. We are digging to find a solution not to beat ourselves up. So during this process you need to forgive yourself a lot and over so many things. Seek solutions not punishments.
Don't be afraid of what you will find down there. Face it. It's better to deal with it now than later. It's not needed at all to bleed from an old wound on a person who doesn't have any hand in hurting you in the first place.
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