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Writer's pictureEyomy Etogawa

Erase your memories?

If you could erase something from your memory, what would it be?

It could be a memory, a situation, a person, an entire period of your life or even all of your memories.

I was asked this question a long time ago and I still stand by my answer even now.

My answer was Nothing, I'd erase nothing.

We as normal human beings tend to forget a lot. We forget situations, faces, names (our homework or lunch sometimes). We forget some shitty stuff that happened long ago. We forget happy moments. We forget a lot. The thing is, we remember when we get reminded with them. It's fascinating how the human brain works and it's ability and huge capacity. So why do we "forget" you ask!

Well, please imagine with me a very very very huge bag filled with things, yet still has the potential to hold more. You tend to get the same couple of things in and out every time you open it. What would happen to the other things that are brought out less frequently? They would be submerged deep down the bag. You wouldn't see them anymore but, they are still there. You might even "forget" that they existed. If you dig deep down inside, you can find them. It might take you minutes, hours or even days. It simply depends on your commitment to get them out. That's how hard you'd search, if you really want them. Back to our main question. If you can erase something from your memories as if it never happened (not from existence just from your memories), would you do that? And if you would, what would it be? (I'd love to know your answer by the way.)

As I've said before my answer was and is nothing. Let me clarify that more. Everything I have done, including how stupid it was, every situation I've been in, no matter how difficult or hard or embarrassing, every person I met whether I truly loved them or hated them. All of these impacted my life and had a very direct hand in shaping the person I am today. So, what if you took one link of this chain? You will have a hole and let me tell you that reconnecting the rest of it isn't a good thing. You will always feel that something is missing. Replacing it isn't a great option either. It will feel odd. Each link of this chain is unique and has a place specially designed for it, so repaching a piece will be bad. Simply you won't relate to the person you are now, even if you don't like that person, you can only deal with them. But what if you can erase everything? That person won't exist anymore! Well let me tell you that this magical solution won't give you peace of mine either, you know why? Because we are curious creatures by nature. Simply like a child, because they don't know things, they want to know. Once they know, they want to know more then more and more. Once they reach a certain age with a certain life experience, some of them decided they don't want to be curious anymore because they now know. What would they do if you took away what they already know? They would revert back to being curious children, even more curious to know why they wanted you to forget in the first place.

Simply in my opinion everything that happens is fate. You are to know and live every single detail of your life and if you ever erased a so called mistake you'd do it again, cause you are fated to go through it.

Hence I don't want to erase anything because even with pain there was happiness, with tears there were smiles, with hatred there was love. I want all the happy feelings even if I have to live with the painful ones.

It's okay to forget but it's not okay to erase.

Unfiltered from my diary....




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